greasy taint

Europeans have all the good ideas.
Like the metric system.
And clean burning turbo diesels.
And the Royale with cheese.
And keeping David Hasselhoff employed.
And topless women to help slow down speeding traffic.

http://5×5m.com/files/speedbandits/speedbandits.swf

Don’t ask me how I came across this article, cause I don’t normally search for this type of stuff at work.

Ok, if you insist I’ll tell you.

We have a new employee here, Tony, who is originally from britain. And he was talking to his boss / neighbor, Brad, about work related stuff. Then Tony said something to the effect of “Hey Brad, would you like me to bring the one eyed monster closer so you can take a look?”.

Clearly this made me stop working and wonder what the fuck was going on over there. And I looked over at Brad and he was smirking. As you, I and Brad know, one eyed monster is a term that is generally used, atleast by red-blooded americans, to refer to the male organ. No, not the taint, the other organ, the penis.

Back to the story, so Brad says “Since you’re British I’ll just let that go”. Then he proceeded to tell Tony what he had just said translated into American. Then after a few laughs, they went about their way.

But not me. Out of sheer morid and phallic curiousity I did a search to find out what Tony had meant by the one eyed monster. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean his british man-meat. Atleast I hope not.

So I did a search for “british one eyed monster“, and one of the top links was to this particular article about Daniel Craig, the star in the new James Bond movie (Casino Royale) and his wang-chung.

Apparently Dame Judi Dench happen to catch a glance of Craig’s babymaker while he was dressing. And her words to a reporter were

“It’s an absolute monster!”

So there you have it. And if you wish to lay your impressionable eyes on Craig’s monster, you can look here. But please make sure your children are out of the room. And your wife/girl-friend or husband/boy-friend. And your priest. And just to be safe, wheel your horny grandma outta the room too. Ok, now you’re good.