greasy taint

… at Ikea

Thank you rey for pointing this out. I somehow missed it. But it’s taint related, so I have to cover it here. It’s in my contract, with lucifer. Actually the contract states that in exchange for this wonderful life of fame, drugs, and bitches I’m living, once I die, I will be the sole cleaner and polisher of lucifer’s taint for all of eternity. I just hope he consumes a lot of fiber.

I have to tell you, that I’m a little confused about exactly where the taint lies

fucked up, but oh so funny

I know the recent at&t / sbc / cingular stuff going on has been confusing. So Stephen Colbert helps explain the mess.

Yeah I’m a huge racist bastard. But I’m laughing all the way to my huge racist bastard of a bank, with my piles of racist money that I made by being a huge racist bastard.

This is too good. Thank you Jon Stewart for being the man that takes a horribly fucked up situation and the bumbling idiot of a president we have, and turning it into laughs that inevitably lead to uncontrollable flatulence. And a tiny bit of blood in my undies thanks to that super spicy burrito that Chipotle served me yesterday.

I’m sitting here stewing in my funk on a saturday afternoon watching Signs. What a great movie. Even considering that Mel “I hate bagels” Gibson is in it.

I’m just sitting here thinking about what kind of vulgarities to scream at VW customer service on Monday when I talk to them again. Why? Well because my new 07 GTI has been in the VW shop for more than 3 months now. And they’re no closer to fiixing it than they were 2 months ago. Apparently some super duper secret part which they need is hard to find. Fucking faggots!

Anyways, I’m not gonna talk about that anymore.

Since I haven’t written anything for a while, I’ll try and make up for it.

First look at this article : http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6626823
How fucked up is that? The company hired to build a fence between US and Mexico hires tons of illegal immigrants.

Now this : http://www.rightwingwatch.org/2006/12/soy_makes_you_g_1.html
Apparently eating soy makes you gay. That would explain the following video …

And now some super hero information (click the thumbnail) :

And lets finish it off with some idiotic foreigners….. hahahah I fuckin hate foreigners! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPNrnisAo6c

P.S. : The latest album from Muse is great. Check that shit out! Their last album, Absolution, is fucking awesome.

I got a link from Rey today which showed some pretty unnecessary police brutality taking place at UCLA.

The video below, shows a UCLA student who get tasered an unnecessary amount of times for failing to show his UCLA id during a random ID check at the library. There’s an article in the ucla student paper about it. http://www.dailybruin.com/news/articles.asp?id=38960

I’m not sure what happened before the 6 min video started shooting. It’s possible the student wasn’t really listening properly and was taking his time in doing things. But it certainly doesn’t seem that he did anything to deserve getting tasered even once. Police are suppose to be trained in dealing with a situation better than the average person, not just resorting to animal instincts and brutalize people. They are called peace officers after all. And if they cannot escort a single student, who was not fighting back, out of a library without this mess, well they are not the right people for the job. And after what the rest of those students saw, how much can they really trust the cops on campus. It’ll tarnish the rep of all the cops, not just the stupid fuckheads in this incident.

Unbelievable, is all I can say. And its not a big deal in the long run. Hopefully the student is not injured. And no serious harm is done. But the fact that a little thing like an ID check at a university library can turn into this, is unbelievable. See for yourself.

I was looking through some of my old blogger posts (Yes, I have nothing better to do), and I came across Patton Oswalt’s list of “Sixteen things I would be willing to vote for instead of George W. Bush”. I know this is old and not relevant anymore, but its worth a few laughs.

Sixteen things I would be willing to vote for instead of George W. Bush:

• Anal rape

• That scene from Dumbo where Dumbo’s mom cradles him in her trunk and he starts to cry

• Four years of constantly being hit in the genitals with an ax handle by Avril Lavigne

• Avril Lavigne’s music

• A new STD that makes angry hornets spontaneously generate in your anus, and it’s caused by masturbation

• Every time you blink, you crap your pants

• The vague feeling of hopelessness that you get on a rainy Sunday morning when you’ve just fucked someone you shouldn’t, and now you have to think of a way to let them down easy, and you realize that the pain you’ve caused in your life is starting to come back on you threefold, and you can no longer feel joy, and also there’s an under-skin zit inside your nose

• The body odor of a two-pack-a-day cigarette smoker in an elevator

• Vanilla Coke

• Contagious, airborne cancer

• Italian food tastes the way it does at The Olive Garden from now on

• A lost puppy slowly freezing to death at 5:11 a.m. on Christmas

• Reagan’s corpse

• Orgasms can only be reached while listening to “Meet Virginia” by Train

• All children look like Donald Pleasence until they’re 11

• John Kerry