greasy taint

… is the follow up to the popular hit song dick in a box. Well, not really, but it might be better. What we have here is “precious vaginal odour filled into a small glass phial”. I know what you’re thinking. And no, I have not been pretending to be a world class gyno (again) in hopes of creating something better than the Michael Jordan perfume. This my friends, is not of my doing.

Vulva original is a real product. It is in layman’s terms, vag juice in a tiny jar. They have made it clear that it is not a perfume. It’s just the scent of a woman (Hoooooo Aaaahh!) for when you just feel like smelling one. Check out the video and the gallery, since I’m certain you are a perv if you are reading this anyways. Enjoy!

With fuel at an all time high, it’s nice to know your local prostitution rings are making it easier to get some with their mobile services. For $40 you get all you drink plus lap dances. Then you shell over additional fees for additional services. And according to the cop on the video they were offering everything from oral sex to actual sex. Nice. actual sex.

Now I admire this type of entrepreneurship. If local city bus services were smart, they’d know that right now people are gonna be ok with paying additional charges to ride the bus. But the buses never seem to be self sufficient and always end up requiring some type of government subsidies. Unless, you start offering additional services. How about a blowjob on your way to work? Maybe a handjob on your way back? Come on people, there are always disgusting things happening on city buses and trains. Now we can monetize it. And I know some people don’t want to ride to work while hearing some fat guy getting his salad tossed behind a curtain in the next seat. For these people I say we designated only certain buses that will contain these services. Perhaps Snoop dogg and that retarded guy from girls gone wild can provided some advertising muscle.

Here are some mugshots of the wrongfully accused : Smoke Gun

I was reading down at the local cafe when I saw a middle aged woman walk by with her large son and heart this

Son : Mom, I don’t want to die
Mother : *Laughing*
Son : Mom? Please, I’m not ready to die
Mother : *Laughing even harder*

Scary eh? Who knows if they were reciting lines from a book or movie, or if they were being literal. It would be interesting to have an audio/video recording device on my person all the time. Then at the end of the day to cut/chop up the audio/video to create a small 30 second or 1 minute summary of the day based on what I saw and heard.

Cool eh? Then you could figure out if when you have a bad day, it’s because of negative/depressing shit going on around you, or if it’s just you. And the same thing for happy/horny days. Yes happy and horny do go together.

later bitches!

“Do you smell egg salad?”

Driveby Farting - The best home videos are here

Worst Blooper Ever - The most amazing bloopers are here

“I’m sorry about that slip up there. I have no idea how that happened, but it won’t happen again.”

Damn straight you retard. Cause your ass is GOOOOOONE!

Too funny!