greasy taint

I was at the local Panera Bread today after lunch, just to read for a while. There were a lot of (likely LMU) students around. And some of them were quizzing each other as part of their studies. I was reading for the most part, but my peripheral hearing (does such a thing exist?) was on. And I caught one of them say “upper respiratory arms” and then heard her and her companion both bust out in laughter.

Apparently no such things exists, and if you are a med student, you might find it hilarious too. I didn’t, but I figured I’d share it with the world.

But people apparently think I do. I get way more people that come to this site from search engines looking for “grandma porn” than any or search term. A google search consistently has me on the front page. A yahoo search doesn’t, but since I now work there, it’s only a matter of time.

Kinda sad considering 99% of the content on here has nothing even remotely to do with grandma porn. That 1%? Well it’s a post, interestingly titled grandma porn, from January 2007. It’s a posting of a video I found where a woman, with a great sense of humor, is talking to her granny and trying to convince her to be in a porn video. Good stuff.

But anyways, getting back to the issue of the search engines sending people looking for grandma porn to my site.

I have an image below thats a screen shot from my google analytics report, that show the recent search engine traffic sent to this site. I know the picture is tiny, so you’ll have to click on it to see the details. And as you can see, almost 30% of all of the traffic is from the keywords “grandma porn”. Crazy ass shit! And the other keywords don’t really bode too well for me either. I guess I just attract certain types of people. The type that are disgusting perverts. Sorry mom.

Went to Thai Beer restaurant today. Bet you want to know what I thought about the place?

http://arash.yelp.com/

Also I added a page to this site where I installed a Yelp widget that shows a map with all of my reviews.

taint-reviews

#53 : In a tiny walk in closet with door closed

#54 : In the shower, cause for some reason the heat and steam amplifies the horrific smell

As someone with an interesting last name (no I’m not going to list it you fuckin creep!) I can appreciate other funny last names. My last name has been turned into everything from Marijuana to Mow-my-lama. And I’m cool with that. I’m just thankful I don’t have a name that can be easily turned into something obscene.

A vietnamese fellow from my high school had the first name Dung. That’s normally enough to for a few laughs. But his last name was Cao, which is pronounced like “cow”. So when teachers call attendance last name first, he turned into Cao Dung. Poor guy.

Then one of my college friends told me a guy from his high school was named Jackon. And they used to do the old clapper routine with his name :

JackOn! [clap] [clap] JackOff! [clap] [clap] The Jacker!

Another friend of mine has a cousin whose name is pronounced “naughty ho”. Not sure how you spell it, but phonetically that’s how it ends up. Another unfortunate vietnamese name in american society.

And today I came across this posting on the Linux Notes blog. It’s about married couples who hyphenate their last names to sometimes embarrassing results. I have posted only a couple of the images from the original posting. Go there, and read the comments. Lots more funny names.

Source : Linux Notes blog.

I was perusing through my logs (tee hee), and I noticed someone from Beijing was reading my site in Chinese, using Google’s translate tool.

They got to my site searching for “japan 500″, the 500 person porno that some japanese company put together and I wrote about. So they are total pervs. But they are international pervs.

Click here to see my page translated into Chinese. Cool eh? And if you hold your mouse over each chunk of Chinese characters, a popup will tell you what the original English was. Wonder how accurate it.

I didn’t know “greasy taint” easily translated into the chinese, . Go figure.

I must get that printed on a tshirt, and see if anyone in Chinatown throws fish at me as I walk by them.

Yes, I am in vegas. And there are plenty of hot pink centers around. woo-fuckin-hoo! The hard rock hotel is just over flowing with what could be described as whores and sluts. I know thats insensitive, but I can’t help it. And I like it.

Anyways, today for lunch I was at Outback steakhouse cause I had a hankering for some meat (this is where you make jokes about the thunder down under). And as usual I ordered my steak medium rare. And in all honesty I don’t think any steak I’ve ever eaten has really been medium rare. They always overcook it and it ends up with very little pink on the inside. But these mother fuckers at the outback here in vegas, made me feel like a pansy cause I sent my steak back to have it cooked some more after I cut it open and found it practically raw. Only the outside was seared, and the middle was barely warm. Some parts even felt cold.

Next time I’ll just ask for medium when I’m around here.

I didn’t get a chance to take a picture, but it was on an old beat up, blue and white, vw bus.

All Gave Some. Some Gave All

Also there was a POW sticker on there somewhere. I was having a good morning up till I saw that.

Today has been a strange day. Not at all like what I had planned. Just one of those “not feeling like myself” days, I guess. Or was it a “feeling too much like myself” kind of day? I’m not really sure.

Here are a few highlights :

• Being more excited about NBA basketball than I have in quite a while; Looking forward to the Warriors/Mavericks Playoff game tomorrow (Warriors will prevail)
• Remembering how much I like chinese food (beef chow fun in particular) and excitedly ordering some



• Being horribly disappointed by the bad chinese food (especially the beef chow fun)
• Wondering why an image search for beef chow fun returned the following as one of the results :



• Experiencing a wonderfully painful headache ; Can’t remember one this bad in a while
• Taking an unbelievably un-satisfying nap at 5pm in the afternoon
• Enjoying 3/4 of a bar of Dove Dark Chocolate
• Watching Stranger Than Fiction, and loving it



• Realizing that I need to start stalking Maggie Gyllenhaal, cause I like her



• Having a renewed interest in learning how to play my guitar, and in wearing watches ; Both of these things are because of Harold Crick
• Wondering if I’m actually happy and if I should be doing something different with my life ; also brought on by Harold Crick
• Going out for a fantastically refreshing 2 hour jog/walk at 1am on Sunday morning
• Having the absurd urge to use absolutely unnecessarily delicious adjectives