greasy taint

I was back home for the long weekend. Thats right, I’m from the 510. Betta recognize! I’ll fuck you up Contra Costa style Bitches!

Did the middle of the night drive to get up there so I could avoid the psychos on the road.

Speaking of which, check out this funny Malcolm in the Middle skit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egTT5yyb5To

Got home on thursday, and it was colder than a witch’s tit. Did the thanksgiving thing with family. It was a nice mix of Persian food and an Albertson’s turkey dinner. Bam!

The rest of the weekend consisted of family, friends, food and the following :
+ = +

Saturday night + $10 =
(Casino Royale, not male strippers ; strippers cost much more than $10 silly)

+ + $20 =
Isn’t that the cutest fucking thing ever? You can watch more laughing babies here and here.

+ + + = +

And that’s that. My asshole is still a little sore, and when I take a shit it sometimes feels like broken pieces of glass are coming out. But that’s the price of too much spicy food. And I’m willing to pay that price. Just to prove it I’ll mention that I’m currently eating a bowl full of
covered in

Europeans have all the good ideas.
Like the metric system.
And clean burning turbo diesels.
And the Royale with cheese.
And keeping David Hasselhoff employed.
And topless women to help slow down speeding traffic.

http://5×5m.com/files/speedbandits/speedbandits.swf

Here’s an interesting video I came across today. It’s our good friend Michael Richards (kramer from seinfeld for all you tards) doing an edgy stand up comedy routine that apparently includes lots of racial slurs. More specifically, he went on a rampage screaming stuff that included the N-bomb numerous times.

As you might imagine, the crowd was shocked. And then people started yelling back, and he yelled back. And it got all fucked up.
Not a funny clip by any means. Just quite disturbing.

Now, it’s one thing for Dave Chapelle to say it, and make it sound funny. And also Carlos Mencia can call himself a beaner all he wants, and it could still be funny. But for fucking kramer to start yelling Nigger this and Nigger that, its quite a different thing. I guess he’s getting desperate for publicity.

Watch the video and let me know what you think. Or don’t. I don’t give a fuck if your [FILL IN A RACIALLY INAPPROPRIATE TERM] ass does it or not!

If you know me at all, you are probably worried about what follows in this post. But fear not. This is not a post about electric anal beads and 10″ double dildos. Why would you even think that? You sick perv. Why it’s not even christmas yet.

But my new toys for this week are as follows :

1 Canon EF-S 10-22mm f/3.5-4.5 USM SLR Lens for EOS Digital SLR’s

1 Canon EW83E Lens Hood for the lense above

1 Apple 1 GB Shuffle Metal (smooth attractive hand not included)

Expensive week? Yes.

Worth the price? Not sure yet. Ask me again in a few weeks to see how much I’m using these items.

But for now, I’m a happy happy happy horny happy hungry happy kid.

Herbert the old pedophile from family guy

Herbert and Chris the paper boy

Don’t ask me how I came across this article, cause I don’t normally search for this type of stuff at work.

Ok, if you insist I’ll tell you.

We have a new employee here, Tony, who is originally from britain. And he was talking to his boss / neighbor, Brad, about work related stuff. Then Tony said something to the effect of “Hey Brad, would you like me to bring the one eyed monster closer so you can take a look?”.

Clearly this made me stop working and wonder what the fuck was going on over there. And I looked over at Brad and he was smirking. As you, I and Brad know, one eyed monster is a term that is generally used, atleast by red-blooded americans, to refer to the male organ. No, not the taint, the other organ, the penis.

Back to the story, so Brad says “Since you’re British I’ll just let that go”. Then he proceeded to tell Tony what he had just said translated into American. Then after a few laughs, they went about their way.

But not me. Out of sheer morid and phallic curiousity I did a search to find out what Tony had meant by the one eyed monster. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean his british man-meat. Atleast I hope not.

So I did a search for “british one eyed monster“, and one of the top links was to this particular article about Daniel Craig, the star in the new James Bond movie (Casino Royale) and his wang-chung.

Apparently Dame Judi Dench happen to catch a glance of Craig’s babymaker while he was dressing. And her words to a reporter were

“It’s an absolute monster!”

So there you have it. And if you wish to lay your impressionable eyes on Craig’s monster, you can look here. But please make sure your children are out of the room. And your wife/girl-friend or husband/boy-friend. And your priest. And just to be safe, wheel your horny grandma outta the room too. Ok, now you’re good.

I got a link from Rey today which showed some pretty unnecessary police brutality taking place at UCLA.

The video below, shows a UCLA student who get tasered an unnecessary amount of times for failing to show his UCLA id during a random ID check at the library. There’s an article in the ucla student paper about it. http://www.dailybruin.com/news/articles.asp?id=38960

I’m not sure what happened before the 6 min video started shooting. It’s possible the student wasn’t really listening properly and was taking his time in doing things. But it certainly doesn’t seem that he did anything to deserve getting tasered even once. Police are suppose to be trained in dealing with a situation better than the average person, not just resorting to animal instincts and brutalize people. They are called peace officers after all. And if they cannot escort a single student, who was not fighting back, out of a library without this mess, well they are not the right people for the job. And after what the rest of those students saw, how much can they really trust the cops on campus. It’ll tarnish the rep of all the cops, not just the stupid fuckheads in this incident.

Unbelievable, is all I can say. And its not a big deal in the long run. Hopefully the student is not injured. And no serious harm is done. But the fact that a little thing like an ID check at a university library can turn into this, is unbelievable. See for yourself.

Assy McGee!

Assy McGee!

Sweet Jesus this show looks so retarded it’ll make me crack up. See for yourself. This is the kind of thing that roams in people’s imaginations, but would never be expected to end up on TV.